How to be Deaf-friendly

If you have never (knowingly) met a Deaf person before, it can be quite scary approaching someone and talking to them for the first time. It shouldn’t be– Deaf people are people too! However, as with everything new and unknown, sometimes it can help spending a little moment to your self, thinking about how to make the best out of a novel situation.

Here are some ideas to think about for the next time you meet a Deaf person.

Talking to a Deaf person with an interpreter

Are you confident working with an interpreter? Click here and see what points you thought about

Please do…

Look at the Deaf person
Speak at a normal pace
Allow some time for the interpreter to translate– a pause isn’t your signal to keep talking, but rather for them to translate in their heads
Reword if the interpreter asks for clarification
Keep in mind where you are standing– the Deaf person will want to see you and the interpreter; they may have preferences who stands/sits where
Be aware that the interpreter is there for you as much as they are for the Deaf person; you are the one who doesn’t understand Sign Language after all!
If there is time beforehand, give a brief overview of what to expect to the interpreter; this gives them time to prepare and possibly research specialist language/jargon
If there is time afterwards, ask for feedback so that your next meeting with a Deaf person can be even better!

Please do not…

Speak directly to the interpreter as though they are part of the conversation
SHOUT or speak reeeeaaaally sloooowly– hearing aids amplify sounds (ouch!) and distorting your mouth can make it impossible to lipread
Say anything to the interpreter you do not want the Deaf person to know– they will translate it
Interrupt before the interpreter has finished (it’s rude in spoken English too!)
Assume the Deaf person can’t speak English; a lot of Deaf people have gone through speech therapy or became Deaf later in life
Talk at an age-inappropriate level– if you are speaking to an adult and want to swear, go ahead and swear! No need to censor yourself as though talking to a child
Assume the interpreter is qualified to do the job you need; check the NRCPD (or equivalent) register for their skills and experiences

Talking to a Deaf person without an interpreter

Have you met a Deaf person and weren’t sure what to do or say? Click here to remind yourself of some pointers

Please do…

Look at the Deaf person
Speak at a normal pace, and be willing to repeat yourself
Keep sentences short and simple, or reword if the Deaf person asks multiple times for you to repeat yourself
Be mindful you may have to move so the Deaf person feels comfortable– they may need you in better lighting to lipread
Use facial expressions, body language, and gestures if relevant (e.g. point to items on a menu)
Respectfully get the Deaf person’s attention, either tapping their upper arm or shoulder, waving, or turning on and off the lights. You may also message them if they are on their phone
End the conversation on a good note; Deaf people get fatigue as they have to always put in a lot of effort to communicate in a second language, so they may keep the conversation short

Please do not…

Turn around and keep talking as someone Deaf will miss out on the conversation
SHOUT or speak reeeeaaaally sloooowly– hearing aids amplify sounds (ouch!) and distorting your mouth can make it impossible to lipread
Assume the person knows Sign Language; ask them how they would prefer to communicate
Say “never mind”– if you put in the effort to say it the first time, the Deaf person is worth the effort to understand it
Use Makaton– it was developed (/ appropriated) for people with mental development disabilities, and Deaf people will often be offended
Panic!! A Deaf person is a person first and foremost, so treat them with respect, you might make a new friend 🙂

Talking about a Deaf person to someone else

Deaf people don’t suddenly disappear once you no longer see them in front of you. Click here for some reminders about how to talk about Deaf people

Please do…

Use their own words they used to describe themselves (e.g. if they say they are Deafened, do not call them Hard of Hearing, even if you read somewhere that it’s more appropriate)
Remember that no one is the same: just because you had one way of communicating to one Deaf person doesn’t mean you tell others that their way is wrong
Discuss what you were talking about; they are people, not just a token Deaf background character!

Please do not…

Call someone Deaf and Dumb
Make fun of their voice or spoken language skills
Make fun of Sign Language
Pity them or pray they will get better– most Deaf people are happy to be Deaf; they are upset when the Hearing world ignores them or sees them as the problem that needs to be “fixed”
Ignore the Deaf person… if they are in the conversation, include them!

Thinking about your environment…

It’s not just you that influences a Deaf person’s experience. Have a think about what you might need to be aware about, and click here to see if you got any right

Make sure that the room is adequately lit– if it’s too dark, or too bright, it can make it difficult to see, especially lipreading
If it is too noisy, suggest going to a more quiet location
If everyone is required to look at a particular part of the room, such as a presentation, make sure the Deaf person can easily see what’s going on– this includes making sure they can see the presentation and interpreter simultaneously if provided
Ask the Deaf person their preferred mode of communication in advance– interpreters are in demand, so you may need to book weeks in advance, but you also don’t want to accidentally book the interpreter in the wrong language (or have the Deaf person not want an interpreter in the first place!)
Have captions on any screen (or an in-vision interpreter)
If something is relayed on a speaker, or if there is a fire alarm going off with no flashing visual cue, inform the Deaf person and make sure they are safe
Keep in mind, much like any other person, a Deaf person might have preferences and other accessibility needs– always ask

Terms used in and about the Deaf community

Do you know why Deaf is with a capital D? Or the connotations of “mute” compared with “non-oral”? Click here to find out more

Deaf vs deaf

You may come across the term “Deaf” with a capital D. In fact, I use it predominantly on this website! But Deaf and deaf (with a lower case d) have different nuances, namely Deaf refers to the culture and society brought about from historical discrimination. The other deaf is more of a medical term than a social one, just referring to the loss of hearing.

You may also see ” d/Deaf ” used by folks in and around the Deaf community. This is to be inclusive of everyone within the Deaf spectrum, whether culturally tied to the Deaf community or otherwise. For stylistic purposes and ease of understanding, I have opted to use “Deaf” throughout this website to when discussing people and community, with “deaf” only referring to the sense.

For these resources, I have also used the term Hearing instead of hearing to describe a similar principle, with “Hearing” referring to people and “hearing” referring to the sense.

Hard of Hearing (HOH)

This term is often used by those who are not fully (eg. profoundly) deaf, nor do they have full hearing. It is quite a neutral and flexible term. The one thing to note is that Hard of Hearing people often identify as such rather than deaf (or Deaf) so do not use those terms interchangeably or indiscriminately.

Deafened

This is a somewhat dated term that some people may wish to use for themselves. However, I do not recommend using it on someone else without knowing if they would be comfortable. Deafened is in reference to something causing someone’s hearing loss. For a lot of Deaf and Hard of Hearing people, nothing caused them to lose their hearing, or if it did, it has long since been forgotten; it is simply their normal.

Mute vs Dumb (vs something else?)

Once upon a time, both “Mute” and “Dumb” were two terms used to mean “unable to speak” but over time, Dumb began to change meaning into something derogatory (A similar thing happened with “Lame”!) Therefore, we should avoid using Dumb– Deaf people aren’t stupid, nor should be labeled as such by default.

However, a lot of Deaf people are still able to speak, either due to engaging with speech therapy or by gaining deafness later on in life after already having learnt to speak in the stereotypical way (as do all Hearing folks) In any case, this does raise the point, what additional information does “Mute” give to someone else? It might be more useful to know if they are a BSL-user, a lipreader, or another means of communication preference.

Hearing loss vs Deaf gain

Both terms are used to describe the same process, but with different perspectives. For Hearing people, it can seem as though you are losing something, that your sense of hearing is no longer with you. This can also have the unintended subtext of being a shameful thing– you no longer have something everyone else supposedly does.

But for Deaf people, being Deaf is nothing to be ashamed about. If you feel shame, then that’s only because someone else has taught you to do so. Deafness is as natural as hearing, so one isn’t less valuable than the other. Also, in becoming Deaf, you will be introduced to a new culture and a new way of experiencing the world; you gain so much more than you could potentially lose.

For further insight into this philosophy, please read Understanding Deaf Culture: In Search of Deafhood by Paddy Ladd [external link]. There is also a website dedicated to exploring the concept of Deafhood, although it is based in the USA rather than UK; Deafhood as a concept is international so you will find information relevant to the UK Deaf population also [external link]

Child of Deaf Adult(s) (CODA)

There are approximately 12 million adults that are Deaf in the UK. However, less than 20% of children born to Deaf parents are also Deaf themselves [external link] Hearing children born to Deaf parents are known as CODA.

This is technically an American term; you may also see the term Mother Father Deaf (MFD) being used by older Brits, but in recent years CODA has become the more favourable term here in the UK.

CODAs are often seen as bridges between the Deaf and Hearing cultures, and may feel strong connections to both or neither. Particularly in an inaccessible society, CODAs can often bear great responsibilities, often acting as interpreters for their parents including in stressful contexts such as medical appointments. This can cause mental health issues, including burn-out [external link]

Over 90% of Deaf persons are born to Hearing parents [external link] which is why there isn’t an equal opposite term.

What else can you do?

If you want to be a true Deaf ally, have a look at some of the other pages on this site for ideas:

BSL Learning Resources